This 1 is funny!

A business mans company tell him that he will have to take a long business trip to japan to clinch an important deal. Unfortunately his wife is known for cheating on him when he goes away. He loves her still but everytime she does it it breaks his heart and this trip will be the longest he has been on. He also knows that she tries hard not to cheat and has done less and less. Having given up smoking he knows how hard it is to shake an addiction so he decides to go to a sex shop to get her something to keep her amused.

I'm talking about hide and seek/spotlight in the park. The corner dairy, hopscotch, four square, cricket in front of the garbage bin and inviting everyone on your street to join in, skipping (double dutch with ropes because proper skipping ropes were to expensive), gutterball, handstands, elastics, bullrush, rugby in the street, slip'n'slides, the trampoline with water on it (or a sprinkler under it), hula hoops, jumping in puddles with gumboots on, mud pies and playing in puddles then getting a hiding from your parents for getting wet. The smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.

'Big bubbles' with Hubba Bubba bubble gum. A topsy. Mr Whippy cones on a warm summer night after you've chased him round the block. 20 cents worth of mixed lollies lasted a week and pretending to smoke "fags" (the lollies) was really cool!.. A dollars' worth of chips from the corner take-away fed two people (AND the sauce was free!!).

Being upset when you messed up putting on the temporary tattoo from the bubblegum packet, but still wearing it proudly. Watching Saturday morning cartoons: 'The Smurfs', 'AstroBoy', 'He-man', 'Captain Planet', 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles', 'Jem' (trulyoutrageous!!), 'Super d'', and 'Heeeey heeeeey heeeeeeey it's faaaaaaat Albert'. Or staying up late and sneaking a look at the "AO" on the second telly, being amazed when you watched TV right up until the 'Goodnight Kiwi!'

When After School with Jason Gunn & Thingie had a cult following and What Now was on saturday mornings! When around the corner seemed a long way, and going into town seemed like going somewhere. Where running away meant you did laps around the house because you weren't allowed up the street or across the road. A million mozzie bites, wasp and bee stings an having a flannel with vinegar to take away the pain.

Sticky fingers, goodies & baddies, cops and robbers, cowboys and indians, riding bikes til the streetlights came on and tryna get home before it got dark.

Going down to the school swimming pool when you didn't have a key and your friends letting you in, drawing all over the road and driveway with chalk. Climbing trees and building huts out of anything u could find. Walking to school in bare feet, no matter what the weather.

When u picked on the gurls u liked or played kiss and catch the boys u liked. "he loves me? he loves me not?" with flowers and made daisy chains on the front lawn. Stealing other people's flowers from their gardens.

Running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt.

Pitching the tent in the back/front yard (and never being able to find all the pegs). Jumping on the bed. Singing into your hair brush in front of the mirror, making mix tapes...

Pillowfights, spinning round, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for the giggles. The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon. Weetbix cards pegged on the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle. Cabbage patch kids were cool.

Eating raw jelly and raro, making homemade lemonade and sucking on a Rad, a traffic light popsicle, or a Paddle Pop... blurple, yollange and prink!

You knew everyone in your street - and so did your parents! It wasn't odd to have two or three "best friends"

You didn't sleep a wink on Christmas eve and tried (and failed) to wait up for the tooth fairy.

When nobody owned a pure-bred dog. When 50c was decent pocket money. When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for 10c.

When nearly everyone's mum was there when the kids got home from school.

It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.

When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at the local Chinese restaurant (or Cobb'n'Co.) with your family.

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed her or use him to carry groceries and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.

Basically, we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! Some of us are still afraid of them!!!

Remember when decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo" or Rock papper scissors. "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly.

Terrorism was when the older kids were at the end of your street with pea-shooters waiting to ambush you, or the neighbourhood rottie chased you up a tree!

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was boy/girl germs, and the worst thing in your day was having to sit next to one.

Where bluelight disco's were the equivalent to clubbing, and asking a boy out meant getting a friend to ask.

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot. Your biggest danger at school was accidentally walking through the middle of a heated game of "brandies".

Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
Taking drugs meant scoffing orange-flavoured chewable vitamin C's, or swallowing half a Panadol.

Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

Going to the beach and catching a wave was a dream come true. Boogie boarding in the white wash made you the next Kelly Slater. Abilities were discovered because of a "double- dare".

Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.

Having a hangi with ya mates and family was a weekly thing and the schoolyard name calling would always end with someone saying "my dad can smash your dad" and "what a dick"

The days of neverending summers and cold winters but always having a mate around the corner

The people you laugh at, the people you cry at, The dairy owner that snaps you stealing and calls your parents.

Now, didn't that bring back some fond memories??

If you can remember most of these, you're an Kiwi legend!!! Pass this on to another Kiwi legend who may need a break from their "grown up" life...