A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. “I can’t do that, officer.” “Why not?” “Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.” “Okay, we’ll just get a urine sample down at the station.” “Can’t do...

Q: How many ‘Real Women’ does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A ‘Real Woman’ would have plenty of ‘real men’ around to do it. Q: How many ‘Real Men’ does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: ‘Real Men’ aren’t afraid of the dark (guess the women are screwed). Q: How many government workers does it take to change a light...

Q: What’s wrong with lawyer jokes? A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion? A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? A: A...